Hmm... these people have been married for 5 years. They don't have any kids yet.
It's a lot harder to invest so much into one another once two babies happen. I had so much anxiety about spiritual separation or distance from my husband when we were first married. I'm not talking about anything religious here I'm talking about being afraid of separation between our souls. I wanted to feel close to him, not physically, but that our hearts were connected. I don't have better words for it, but I'm hoping you know what I mean. (how would you best describe that feeling of needing to be "close," not physically, but in soul?) That anxiety kept me pursuing him. It is what gave me energy to "interview" my husband. To say sorry when I wasn't really in the wrong. It is what drove me to bend so we fit better together. It was good....I think. But after two kids came I just couldn't carry that anxiety anymore. I had too much on my plate already. In 2009 when all hell broke lose, I set it down. I just couldn't worry anymore about what was going on in my husband's head and heart. He had to deal with his own stuff, cause I had so much of my own stuff to deal with, I couldn't help carry his anymore. This hurt us.
Slowly but surely I'm starting to care more again. That is good. I'm doubtful that I'll ever go back to who I was. I learned from the pain that a little separation is called boundaries and maybe that's a good thing. I'm still figuring it out.