What is a Liebster
Award?
Here is the description:
Here is the description:
"The Liebster Blog Award is an award
given by bloggers to up and coming bloggers, most of whom have less than 200
followers (or have been blogging for less than 6 months). It is to show newer
bloggers that they are appreciated, and to help spread the word about new
blogs.
It was created to promote appreciation and recognition among the blog world.
Liebster translates to “dearest” (or favorite/best) in German.
It is also known as the Love Blog Award."
It was created to promote appreciation and recognition among the blog world.
Liebster translates to “dearest” (or favorite/best) in German.
It is also known as the Love Blog Award."
1. You must
post 11 random things about yourself.
2. Answer
the 11 questions given by the nominator.
4. Choose 11 new
blogs and link to them in your post.
~~~~~
So here it goes, 11 random things about myself:
1. I love anthropomorphism. I love to pretend that flowers have feelings. I love to imagine that waves in the ocean have goals. I love to think about the trees having desire. It's fun for me and I think it helps build empathy.
2. My name means "cheerful" and for most of my life I've embodied that pretty well.
3. But I feel all emotions deeply so watch out when I'm angry.
4. Being a deep feeler makes parenting very difficult for me. I need lots of breaks.
5. I love Myers-Briggs Personality stuff. I use Keirsey's Please Understand Me II as a resource on a fairly regular basis. I am an ENFP. Strong N, Strong F, weak E, weak P.
6. I'll take a second bowl of mashed potatoes on thanksgiving instead of dessert.
7. And yet, Before I met my husband I told everyone that when I met a boy that I loved more than peppermint ice cream then I knew he was the one I was going to marry.
8. Most of the things I write about on this blog are things I'm too afraid to tell anyone I know in real life.
9. I love to dance at weddings.
10. I dream about opening a restaurant some day, but that it unlikely to ever happen.
11. I got an award for drafting in jr. high. I still enjoy drawing floor plans now and then for fun. Maybe someday I'll get to design my own house....and own land...and a cow...and two pygmy goats. =)
11 Questions
From Karen:
It's time to be done. I'll nominate another 11 new bloggers at another time. I'll enjoy looking for new people to connect with!
- How has your blog changed over time? I think I've gotten braver. I think that I'm engaging in more topics outside of just my own relationships. I've definitely gotten less Christian. I was still attending a charismatic prayer meeting when I started my blog...which is something I really want to write about in the future. But mostly it's stayed the same I think.
- Name some other blogs that you have "discovered" and enjoy. Blogs in my reader: Rachel Held Evans, Libby Anne, Tony Jones, Permission to Live, Brian McLaren, Richard Beck, Elizabeth Esther, and others of people that I know personally. I also occasionally read Brianne's blog, she was my very first commenter! Thank you Brianne and Hi! I found the secret follower of Jesus to be interesting, as I'm now a secret unbeliever. Rob Davis' journey is really fascinating to me. JW was another early commenter on my blog (thank you JW!), but I think he's given up on any hope for saving my soul. =)
- How many "followers" do you have on your blog? Only two, but they never comment, so I don't think they actually read here anymore. I don't know if anyone has me in their readers or not. Is there a way to find that out?
- How would you change the format of your blog? Hmm...I haven't really had time to think about format much. What do you think? What do I need to add? I don't know the right lingo for blog formatting to even answer this question! =)
- Which of your blog posts gets the most traffic? My Rape Post by far has gotten the most traffic with 90 page views. The second is How Plants vs. Zombies saved my marriage with 56 page views. The average is probably like 6. 90 scared me. What if someone I know finds me?!
- Which of your blog posts is your personal favorite? I just spent way too much time reading old posts. I can't really pick a favorite. Everything is a little piece of my heart. Here's one just for fun anyway: Nameless Faith
- What ideas are you working on for your blog? I would like to write about my experiences with attending a charismatic prayer meeting. I would like to write through the gospels to see what I agree with, what I disagree with and what I would re-interpret. I'd really like to write a new post about the resurrection because I've developed my thoughts more since this post: My Easter Doubts and Belief BUT I have not yet told my husband about this blog which means that I only write when I'm home and he is not, which is not very often. I could tell him...but then I wouldn't feel as free to write about him. Quite the dilemma.
- Why did you start blogging? To get these thoughts out of my head. They go round and round and round until I write them or say them. And to practice authenticity. So much of this stuff is part of my identity and no one in my real life knows about any of it. That's not totally true. I came out to my brother and his fiancé as an unbeliever and I keep my husband up to date as much as possible without totally freaking him out. A few others know a few tidbits. I've been braver about coming out in support of LGBT rights in real life. That makes me happy. I also want to be corrected when I am wrong which is why I blog instead of journaling. A large part of growth happens in connection with others. Here's my first post and this one called Fear of Blogging answers this question too.
- What inspires you? Other bloggers, books, My brother, my chickens, my kids. Mostly people. People inspire me.
- What are your goals for your blog? I would love to eventually engage in more discussion instead of just throwing my words out there.
- What do you think about comments on your blog? Oh, a comment is by far my favorite thing to see in my in-box! I love comments.
Lara, I know I keep saying this, but I really do enjoy your questioning, insight, and deep thought.
ReplyDeleteAlthough my "deconversion" story felt painful at the time, like I was truly sweating blood, when I look back at it I feel happy and proud in my growing ability to think more clearly about what I read and believed.
Whether your journey brings you to where I am or to some other place of your own, I am so inspired and moved by your writing.
Thanks for doing this blog thing. As I said on my original blog post, you don't *have* to pass it along unless you want to!
Peace, Karen
Thank you Karen. Your encouragement has been a healing balm for me.
ReplyDeleteGreat to find your blog. :) :) :) :)
ReplyDelete"I also want to be corrected when I am wrong which is why I blog instead of journaling."
ReplyDeleteLara, if you really want to be corrected, you can't keep all your actual thoughts secret from everyone in your real life. That's not in any way practicing authenticity. In keeping your blog a secret, you're purposefully writing in an impersonal void where the only people that could possibly interact with you are strangers who find you because they're thinking similar things: the very opposite demographic from the one that might offer you correction.
If you were really convinced that forfeiting your Christian faith was a wonderful development in your life, you would share the news with your friends, those who know you, see you, and care about you. Your reticence to do so and your delight in your creation of a "safe place", free from the inconveniences of real people offering your real correction and push-back, belie the inner turmoil that comes from living a lie. That is not wholeness. That is not wellness. Instead, it's chasing after the same "delicious secrecy" that motivates all sorts of people to keep huge secrets from their loved ones. Who choose to count a fantasy as more real than reality.
If you really have moved closer to objective truth, then give openness a try. Don't hide in the shadows any longer. Share your new thoughts with your friends, your family. At the very least, you need to share them with your husband, all of them, not just the ones you deem won't freak him out. It is terribly unfair to share your true heart with strangers and keep it (largely) hidden from the man you married.
I understand that you're not interested in trusting Jesus these days, but I happen to believe Him when He says that the truth shall make you free. So by all means, put the charade away. If you really have put to death the faith you once held, then let your new thoughts see the light of day where those who love you (but especially your husband who at a bare minimum has a strong vested interest in the state of your deepest beliefs for the sake of your children who you are raising with him) can at least speak with you about it. Perhaps, you'll be further confirmed in the choices you've made and the distance you've put between yourself and our Lord Jesus Christ. And if instead, the reality is that you have turned your back on truth, the light of day (and the wise counsel of family and friends) might just show you that. Might show you what is true and what is a lie.
Please do so while there's still time.
I’ll pray for you.
Hi Kevin. First of all. I don't want Christian correction. I already know all those answers. All that stuff is deep in my heart and head. I'm trying really hard to see from a new perspective right now. I've found lots of good information that is helping me love better. For the first time in 10 years I have an open relationship with my brother. That is worth so much to me. The correction I want is correction in logic, or information that I may not have, or perspectives that I might not have thought of yet. I don't want or need reminders of the teachings I grew up in.
DeleteMy husband knows almost everything I have written here about faith related stuff. He freaked out at first when I mentioned what I was thinking about Mary, but he's okay. We talk about all this a lot. I do try to be gentle because it's scary.
I would love to be authentic about all this stuff with my friends. To be able to talk openly and discuss all these things with people who love me is my greatest desire. But it's not that easy. Christians are trained to not think about these things and put walls up when someone doubts in order to protect themselves. I know because I did that. My friends will do that. they will just distance themselves from me. I am actually planning to see a therapist to have help and support in becoming more open with my friends.
I also believe Jesus when he said the truth will set you free.
I have not made decisions about this stuff yet. I don't want to be judged that I have "turned my back on truth" just for looking at Christianity from other perspectives.
When you are interested in learning about me and what I've been through and what I have suffered then I'll be happy to discuss this stuff with you further.
http://lara-thinkingoutloud.blogspot.com/2011/09/what-if.html
DeleteOkay, last reply. =) "Lara, if you really want to be corrected, you can't keep all your actual thoughts secret from everyone in your real life. That's not in any way practicing authenticity."
DeleteI know . That's why I said this is practicing authenticity, not living out authenticity. I'm gearing up for the real thing. Before this blog I was keeping all of this totally inside and not sharing it with anyone. So it's a stepping stone. A move in the right direction I think. Certainly not the end result.
I disagree with a few points made above by Kevin.
ReplyDeleteI do NOT think it is always wise to be "out" as an atheist in a very religious company. This is NOT because I doubt my atheist. Nor it is because I lack pride or respect for my atheism. It is because I don't trust the Christian company to handle it well.
Like the guilt-inducing post above.
"If you were really convinced"...
That's crap. Trust yourself about your timing, Lara!
Peace, from an impersonal stranger.
PHHT.