I posted this comment on Tony Jones Blog. A great conversation about sex is happening over there: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/tonyjones/2013/02/06/is-it-time-for-christians-to-celebrate-pre-marital-sex/#comment-55868
"I have three stories to tell:
1. I have two very close friends who were raised in secular homes. One woman was literally taught that men were to be used as objects and women were for relationship. Weird, right? Anyway, both of them had sexual intercourse for the first time as teenagers because they felt like they were supposed to. They didn’t actually want to, but they were under the impression that that is what girlfriends were supposed to do. So they did. I want to protect my children from this.
2. I have at least one female friend who never masturbated. Ever. She had no idea how her body worked. As a consequence she did not orgasm during sex with her husband after they got married. As a consequence she never enjoyed sex. It was just a duty. I want to protect my children from this.
3. My husband and I spent our 2.5 years of dating exploring our sexuality in a multitude of ways without ever having intercourse. We were able to pour into each other, explore each other, and satisfy one another, and focus on one another without even bringing the possibility of a child into the equation. We felt guilt about this because we were told to feel guilt about this, but now looking back I think we might have done the very best thing possible. I kinda want to teach my children to do this. But maybe this is stupid and maybe we have the kind of willpower that others don’t. It was almost impossibly hard to abstain sometimes. If he would have pushed the issue I would have given in. But neither of us ever asked to go farther. It just wasn’t an option. Is Rebecca right? Did we somehow intuitively know that we weren’t fully committed to each other yet, so even creating the possibility of a child during this time would have been cruel to the child….and yet we still had sex with protection during a time in our marriage when it would have been cruel to bring another child into our family, due to poverty and depression. Maybe we should have gone back to “messing around” during that stage of our marriage instead of having sex. =)"
What are your stories?